Depression

3 08 2011

Foreword:

This post is about what happens around you when you are depressed.. a quick view of the energies around us from a higher view-point ( I mean it’ll look like we are viewing the whole thing from a higher point of view like say the 4th floor of a building)

Base of the post:

I’m angry and upset.. I feel like the whole world has turned its back on me.. from morning, whatever I did only became messy.. how much ever attention I gave it, it only aided in making my day worse.. the amount of documentation I did in office was herculean.. but what did I get in return? Rework..! since the client side documentation format was different.. I had to redo a whole set of 15 different technical documents.. 2 of my team mates (out of 5 where the other 2 apart from me consist of my manager and senior manager) are on leave.. I can’t even get even moral support from anyone leave alone help.. I can’t help but sulk with my work and snap at people around me who belong to other teams.. how will they know what I’m going through? God Damn some of them are leaving by 6 30 bus.. I can’t even think of catching the cab at 9.

State of my mind:

Totally irritable.. feels like a live wire.. I’ll burn anything that approaches me to ashes..

My reactions to people around me:

I sulk while working.. I’m irritated with the squiggly red line MS office displays when I get a typo.. someone calls me for a break, I snap at them saying they don’t realize how much I’m stuck with this darn work.. I get hungry because my brain is at work copy pasting stuff from the previous copy I had drafted earlier. I get up push my chair, curse my side draw and frown at a colleague who tries to look at me.. and storm out of the ODC.

How my state of mind affects people around me: (View from somewhere above all this)

imagine that you and I are looking down at this entire scene from 2 floors above.. (we can look thru walls since its our imagination) I frown and snap at the colleague who called me for a break.. she feels odd.. since its not very normal for me to behave that way.. she gives me back a harder frown and leaves (she may have also been through a rough day)

my negative feeling affected her even more.. it made her feel worse.. now the fact that my snapping at her affected her is like a stone thrown into a pond of still water.. it makes many ripples.. some of them come back to me making me feel worse..

on the contrary, if I had obliged cheerfully, she would have felt good and her happiness would have flowed back to me when we shared a few minutes over coffee.. but certainly I would have felt better and who knows.. I could have asked her to spend time near my PC, so that I can chat while doing my work, which will not seem so burdensome.

Thoughts:

State of depression is nothing but a bunch of negative thoughts which we cling on to because we want to justify to our self that there is a reason that we are feeling sad.. and we hold on to it for so long and so much that it affects us so badly that we forget that we can actually let go of it and feel better.

there was a mail forward that I came across.. a man who addressed the public.. he told a joke, people laughed.. he kept on repeating it so many times that after a while no one wanted to laugh and some started giving him quizzical looks.. He spoke saying, how is it that we are not able to laugh over 1 joke again and again but we are able to hold on to one failure and weep over it for a lifetime??

Our negative thoughts (being sad.. anger.. anything) are like stones thrown into still water..  the more we throw negative stones, more negative ripples are created and it not only disturbs the pond, it also affects the shores of the pond.. our mind is like the pond of still water and the thoughts are like the stones.. if we throw stones of negative thoughts, it affects us and people around us negatively.. if we throw positive stones, positive thoughts and feelings come back to us.. so never let negative thoughts enter the pond.. even if they do, do your best to replace it with some or other form of positive thoughts.

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Luxury

18 07 2011

I read this story in a mail forward and it totaly moved me…! I dint find the original copy so i’m penning it on my own since I remember every bit of that short story..

Scene 1: its 9 Pm and Ramu is at his residence cutting beans for the next day’s cooking helping his wife while he’s watching TV and listening to his wife (Viji) who was telling him what happened during the day.. his 2 year old daughter (Meena) had just slept after playing with daddy and his 8 year old son (Guna) was doing his home work.

Ramu works at an MNC not as someone who does coding.. but as the person who cleans the tables. yes he’s part of the house keeping section of the MNC. Viji is a home maker and she does odd jobs in two to three houses there by adding money for rotation in apart from the meager 4500 rupees that Ramu earns.

Despite the fact that Ramu and Viji literally fight 30 days a month for 1 square meal, they make sure their kids get what they need even if they dont get what they want.

Scene 2: Guna is done with his homework and comes running to his dad and hugs him and asks him what happened in office today. Guna after a while says,

G: “Appa, i want a cake”

R: “seri vangi tharen” (ok i’ll buy for you)

G: “Appa, not one piece.. yenakku oru round cake venum pa”

R: expressionless (a full cake… its something he cant even dream of affording)

G: appa i had been to sekar’s house appa.. avan oda birthday-a so enna kooptu irundhan pa.. avan oru round pink cake vechi cut pannan pa.. yenakkum adutha masam happy birthday varudhu le? please appa… yenakkum venum pa…

R: Baffled.. but since he dint want to disappoint his son then and there.. he said “pakalam da kanna.. ippo poi thungiko.. odu”

G: happily went to bed

Ramu talks with Viji until the day’s work is over in the kitchen and they both retire for the day

Scene 3: Next day in office:

its lunch break and its almost drawing to a close around 2 45.. the tables are almost empty and and hence, ramu sits in a corner and ponders over the cake guna had asked for..

Suddenly there are loud noises in the cafe.. one group is celebrating someone’s birthday.. the noise continues to the “happy birthday song” people chase one another.. they all eat some cake and then leave..

dutifully Ramu goes to the spot to clean the mess the group had created by throwing on each other and playing with THAT CAKE which RAMU could not even DREAM OF AFFORDING for HIS SON GUNA.





10 people whom you don’t want to eat with

11 07 2011

1. those who fill their stomachs by seeing how much we eat. (stop staring.. stomach ache coming )

2. those who take a platter full.. and waste as much (why waste..? there are others who are willing to eat)

3. people who complain with every spoonful that they knew that the food will be so bad (why take it when you knew the food is bad?)

4. them who keep bragging about how good the food was in their previous company (why did you come here then?)

5. people who keep saying i’m full and keep eating (from your plate as well) (hello.. i know how to eat.. you don’t have to demonstrate)

6. a group that ignores your presence and talks stuff that is not related to you and / or talks in a language that you dont understand (Excuse me..? i exist)

7. a person who sits next to you with a disconnected output line (keeps mum and stares at everything around) (why did i sit with this XXXXX…? smacking my head)

8. them who always think food in your plate is better than theirs (we got it from the same caterer damn it..!)

9. those who keep telling.. wow how are you able to eat so much (how will we be able to continue?)

10. and finally those who tell us how bad the food is (what we are eating) and exclaim by saying.. By God…! how are you able to consume that amount of horse **** (for the last time.. i’m hungry and i want to eat)





We can not wake ppl who act like they are sleeping…!!

21 01 2010


Here again i’m penning about irresponsible “Grown ups” damn we’ve become so careless.. we care for just nothing at all. as the saying goes, one can just not wake a person who’s faking to be asleep. Ok this is something i noticed and it disturbed me. I cant go and stop anyone or teach at least i can express what i feel at least make people who read this think even if not do.

All rest rooms at least in corporate organisations, provide a tissue roll. I’m not detailing on what that tissue is used for but on how carelessly its wasted. If you see the image there, the tissue from the roll is hanging till the floor, little do we realize that the next person who walks into the toilet expects the same hygiene like we do..

What does the next person do, he/she will tear the roll till where ever its exposed, discard it and use some more at their convenience. Now that much amount of paper tissue is wasted. We campaign all over the country “Save trees save trees” and what are we doing to save them actually? aiding in cutting more? there’s no point planting a sapling when we are indirectly cutting the trees.
Fine thats personal hygiene now take a look the picture in the top left corner. That is a dust bin and now if you take a closer look, there’s the same tissue lying there wasted. Its lying there as neat as it was when in the roll, not used, not even crumpled! what i’m trying to say is, tissue is not something you just rip an throw whilst doing what you went inside for. Its kept there with a purpose. if its not of use to you, don’t waste it. Some one else can make use of it if you don’t! its not your duty to rip and throw it there every time you visit the place. If your using it at least to wipe your hand, its fine. Don’t mindlessly waste!
I cant stop any of you out there from using or wasting tissue, thats perfectly up to you. But at least take a minute and give it a thought.




Healthy Corporate

14 01 2010

The scenario:

Alarm goes “wee wee wee wee” one eye opens, finds the mobile hits the snooze button
– 15 mins –
Alarm goes “wee wee wee wee” one eye opens, Oh Monday mornings! and its 6:15 already??
reluctantly we get up, swear at the tooth brush while brushing, write on water “i will work out tomorrow morning” shower, nibble food, rush to catch the commuter. and after a great deal of road, office is reached.
Its darjeeling once we step into the main doors. Thanks to them, at least the WC’s don’t have a split AC. we don’t feel thirsty in the pleasant temperature because all we do is SIT, sit,Sit and sIt. The cafeteria, mmm such an inviting place in any corporate organisation so many items to munch at affordable prices and all that they do is drain everyone’s salary by FILLING their stomachs. The kinda food and junk available there, pulls us nose first and we crave to into eating our own way to capsules and bankruptcy. But its such a happening place throughout the day. andso all that we do is, sit eat EAT siT Eat SiT sIt eAt, bloat like a balloon and then say, travel too tedious, work pressure etc which are only 10% of the cause.
Even though organisations provide a gym, its a forgotten place for 90% people because of “work” which accounts to seeking advice from the God Father “Guru-Google” We end up huddled for hours in the rotating chair bent in front of the PC and at the end of the day, end up with a backache and neck pain.
/* the above text conforms to ANSI standards*/
some suggestions:
* wake once the alarm rings without snoozing it whereby u need not bathe in 2 mins.. u can take 5 mins (3 extra)
* after nibbling food, take some fruit say a banana or apple or atleast a glass of milk or buttermilk or worst case water.
* walk at least 10steps every 1 hour! DO NOT STAY GLUED TO YOUR CHAIR! No one is gonna steal it.
* picking up waste paper from the floor is not a sin, your back gets relaxed. breathe long and deep to feel at ease always.
* even if you have to visit the rest room now and then, DRINK WATER. at least for the fresh and free feeling.
* most cafeterias provide stalls of all kinds. eat well thats no issue at least in this blog, but eat so that your able to get up and walk around comfortably.
* add fruit juices to your meal when ever possible.
* staircases do exist in buildings. no harm climbing 2 floors even if not 12.
feel free to add more in the comments section.
Take care all!







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