Getting over and healing yourself…

9 08 2011

Here.. i’m gonna elaborate on how to mentally heal yourself and get over things.. please note this is strictly not like this: you scrape your knee in a grave way.. put your palm over it.. and say “heal thy self”.. and the wound vanishes leaving the place spotlessly clean.. this is not that..! this post will say.. how you can heal your way out of being depressed.. or something similar..

OK so here is you sitting in a corner.. your feeling very sad.. say maybe because you fought with your mommy for a very silly reason.. (I chose this because I’ve done it many times and felt like killing myself for the same). OK lets state the reason.. mommy has had a very rough day.. she was not able to get her work finished despite slogging for the whole day with the corporation having shut down the power in peak summer. you have also had a tiresome day in college since the College day practice is neck breaking and you have loads of class room notes to complete. you come back home and feel desperate to have some fries.. you want mamma do make some fries.. she turns you down saying there is a power shut down and that she is very tired.. you also give in and ask for a cup of juice.. she makes the juice and hands it to you.. and while handing it, it slips from your hand and the juice spills on the entire floor attracting ants and flies.. mommy goes into a rage and screams at you to get out of the room and start with the notes.. you stamp on the ground in anger and leave the room fighting back tears since it wasn’t intentional from your end.. mamma is angry for adding work to her already burdened shoulder when the guests are expected to come in about an hour.. she totally dint want to scream at you.. but it just happened in the spur of the moment.

what will be your thoughts now: why cant mamma just understand that it wasn’t my fault.. i thought she had still not handed it to me and she was holding it..what the HELL…??!!??!! after all juice.. and i asked sorry also.. still she wants to scream at me.. God knows what pleasure she gets from it Damn it…!

mamma’s thoughts:  can’t she look at me when i’m giving the juice to her.. i don’t understand what was so important in the mobile phone which couldn’t wait for a minute till she took the juice in her hands. but poor thing she was already hungry and i refused her fries.. and screamed for spilling the juice.. poor girl i’ll make the fries and patch up with her..

mamma goes and makes the fries (99 percent of the time this does happen) and goes to the daughter.. now it is up to us to give in and talk to her and smile.. our tender smile means a LOT to our parents..! just imagine how much it would hurt her when she comes to where you are sitting angrily staring at the books not able to concentrate with the fries and you turn away refusing to talk to her just because she asked you to get out 🙂 we were brought into this world by our mommy and she is our first and best ever friend.. this thing called maturity comes in here.. just by smiling, taking one of those fries and shoveling it into her mouth will bring so much happiness to her and she’l end up making all your favorite dishes for dinner who knows 🙂

this process is called getting over things and healing yourself mentally.. there by you give up on what is disturbing you.. that is where the key is.. only if you let go of something, you can grab another.. if your hands are filled already, where will there be place for new things? similarly, fill your mind with things that will make you smile.. let go of those sad things that frustrate you.. let go of grudges.. bring in gratitude.. healing yourself lies here.. its a choice you make.. you can choose to get out and wash yourself or remain in the slush and get dirtier. how long will it take to just turn around and call your friend and tell her what she did was not right and that you dint like it.. and just letting go? or think about someone who snatched away your opportunity of say going abroad from the project? i know how depressing that would be.. maybe it is not time for you to go yet MAYBE.. but if you just let go saying i WILL get a better opportunity and sincerely work towards it.. i’m  sure you’l end up way better…!!

try it 🙂 it works with almost anything…! it just lies in how we tell ourselves “chal kake.. its not a happy ending, so picture baki hai dosth” may be take a refreshing break at the spa or get in touch with an old friend.. getting over and healing yourself lies in whether we choose to hold on.. or let go , visualize and believe that something better is in store and work towards materializing it.. i’m sure no one can stop what we want from reaching us then…!

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Depression

3 08 2011

Foreword:

This post is about what happens around you when you are depressed.. a quick view of the energies around us from a higher view-point ( I mean it’ll look like we are viewing the whole thing from a higher point of view like say the 4th floor of a building)

Base of the post:

I’m angry and upset.. I feel like the whole world has turned its back on me.. from morning, whatever I did only became messy.. how much ever attention I gave it, it only aided in making my day worse.. the amount of documentation I did in office was herculean.. but what did I get in return? Rework..! since the client side documentation format was different.. I had to redo a whole set of 15 different technical documents.. 2 of my team mates (out of 5 where the other 2 apart from me consist of my manager and senior manager) are on leave.. I can’t even get even moral support from anyone leave alone help.. I can’t help but sulk with my work and snap at people around me who belong to other teams.. how will they know what I’m going through? God Damn some of them are leaving by 6 30 bus.. I can’t even think of catching the cab at 9.

State of my mind:

Totally irritable.. feels like a live wire.. I’ll burn anything that approaches me to ashes..

My reactions to people around me:

I sulk while working.. I’m irritated with the squiggly red line MS office displays when I get a typo.. someone calls me for a break, I snap at them saying they don’t realize how much I’m stuck with this darn work.. I get hungry because my brain is at work copy pasting stuff from the previous copy I had drafted earlier. I get up push my chair, curse my side draw and frown at a colleague who tries to look at me.. and storm out of the ODC.

How my state of mind affects people around me: (View from somewhere above all this)

imagine that you and I are looking down at this entire scene from 2 floors above.. (we can look thru walls since its our imagination) I frown and snap at the colleague who called me for a break.. she feels odd.. since its not very normal for me to behave that way.. she gives me back a harder frown and leaves (she may have also been through a rough day)

my negative feeling affected her even more.. it made her feel worse.. now the fact that my snapping at her affected her is like a stone thrown into a pond of still water.. it makes many ripples.. some of them come back to me making me feel worse..

on the contrary, if I had obliged cheerfully, she would have felt good and her happiness would have flowed back to me when we shared a few minutes over coffee.. but certainly I would have felt better and who knows.. I could have asked her to spend time near my PC, so that I can chat while doing my work, which will not seem so burdensome.

Thoughts:

State of depression is nothing but a bunch of negative thoughts which we cling on to because we want to justify to our self that there is a reason that we are feeling sad.. and we hold on to it for so long and so much that it affects us so badly that we forget that we can actually let go of it and feel better.

there was a mail forward that I came across.. a man who addressed the public.. he told a joke, people laughed.. he kept on repeating it so many times that after a while no one wanted to laugh and some started giving him quizzical looks.. He spoke saying, how is it that we are not able to laugh over 1 joke again and again but we are able to hold on to one failure and weep over it for a lifetime??

Our negative thoughts (being sad.. anger.. anything) are like stones thrown into still water..  the more we throw negative stones, more negative ripples are created and it not only disturbs the pond, it also affects the shores of the pond.. our mind is like the pond of still water and the thoughts are like the stones.. if we throw stones of negative thoughts, it affects us and people around us negatively.. if we throw positive stones, positive thoughts and feelings come back to us.. so never let negative thoughts enter the pond.. even if they do, do your best to replace it with some or other form of positive thoughts.








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