Fate of an Engineer….?

15 10 2011

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Dear child..

11 10 2011

As I walk over the wet sands today.. it all comes back to me.. those wonderful morning walks that we had together.. discussing subjects of common interest.. admiring the rising sun flooding everything around us with its golden red gleaming light..

how we used to run till we were outta breath trying our best to outrun each other and end up laughing.. how we used to forget everything around us and watch the endless waves sitting on the rocks.. how you used to shake me awake on the cold January mornings and pull me to along for the jog..

how much I miss you today is just inexplicable.. you are not around to push me outta bed.. not here to crack jokes when I’m angry.. not here to fight with me for the TV remote..  not here to jump and grab my supper and taste it just to see if there was anything special in mine that was not in yours…

it’s a pain to see you each day.. talk to you.. but not be able to feel your physical presence around me.. it’s a pain when I’m not able to shout out to you just for you to come and turn on the fan for me.. it’s a pain that I’m being constrained to one spot to see you and talk.. lest I’ll move out of your frame… an inexplicable pain for every mom and dad.. whose daughter or son is  not in the same place as they are, either studying or working or married…





The invisible yet profound line in this thing thats called “F.R.I.E.N.D.S.H.I.P”

8 08 2011

Yeah I agree Friends are everything.. a person is poor even if he has all the riches but remains without friends.. but we need to be picky when it comes to whom we choose as our friends.. we may have a whole big sack of names of people whom we know.. big and small.. but we can’t claim all of them as friends.. but yeah we do call all of them friends.. some xyz lends us a pen at the form filling counter.. we end up standing next to each other in the hour long lecture.. and we eat lunch… this person can become our truest friend ever.. better than someone whom we knew for years as our neighbor in the apartment and claimed as our Bestest friend and tied friendship bands for 15 years..!

Friends are people who add color to our life.. so we should be careful while choosing the colors.. for it is in our hands to choose.. we could choose a bulb with a broken filament and fix it and have it with us to cherish and add color.. but we should not hold on to a bulb that flickers…! (mokkaya pocho?? bulb kooda poi compare panniten 🙂

OK Friends whom we choose… all people whom we meet write something into the pages of our life… some friends write hard and leave good imprints.. some write glitters.. but some may write with pens that don’t have ink. result: they leave only imprints (hard enough to tear a few pages). we must be careful in identifying which pens have ink..! I don’t mean to say, pick people who only add color to life.. they maybe people who leave bad colors too.. but its up to us, to find the quality of the pen and make sure at least we fill in some ink of love in it, while they write in our pages…! (again…! cha i think i’m going this way to get slipper-ed by someone Lols)

the corporate world is another place where friendship is a BIG joke.. touch your heart and tell me how many of us have our truest friends in the same project or team.. ok think wider.. in the same organization? I’m sure there cant be even a few of us who raised hands…! Friendship is where 2 people co-exist with only FUN  and happiness they find in each other’s company.. while sharing helping each other where ever possible and whenever possible in what ever possible manner…! there is no place for JEALOUSY among friends.. but think about it.. how many of us have not secretly envied our “friend” when he /  she gets the name for something both of you contributed equally for? just because that person spent 10 minutes extra in the tea time with the lead when you left because you got a call from home?

Think about it… we may have a lot of friends.. it does not count when people are there by your side to celebrate your victory.. it is them who stand to share with you, their smile when you have forgotten that yours exists under your nose…! it is them who supports you when you need that tender ray of hope to believe that there is something that you can still do… it is them who discourage you only to make you stronger… it is them who say, vidra mappi pathukkalam namakkelam aayiram figure madiyum…!! it is them who say, machi nurse semma kattai da.. avasarame illa.. venum na innuru kalayum odaichiko.. na daily unna paaka varen…!!

Cherish THEM…!!





Depression

3 08 2011

Foreword:

This post is about what happens around you when you are depressed.. a quick view of the energies around us from a higher view-point ( I mean it’ll look like we are viewing the whole thing from a higher point of view like say the 4th floor of a building)

Base of the post:

I’m angry and upset.. I feel like the whole world has turned its back on me.. from morning, whatever I did only became messy.. how much ever attention I gave it, it only aided in making my day worse.. the amount of documentation I did in office was herculean.. but what did I get in return? Rework..! since the client side documentation format was different.. I had to redo a whole set of 15 different technical documents.. 2 of my team mates (out of 5 where the other 2 apart from me consist of my manager and senior manager) are on leave.. I can’t even get even moral support from anyone leave alone help.. I can’t help but sulk with my work and snap at people around me who belong to other teams.. how will they know what I’m going through? God Damn some of them are leaving by 6 30 bus.. I can’t even think of catching the cab at 9.

State of my mind:

Totally irritable.. feels like a live wire.. I’ll burn anything that approaches me to ashes..

My reactions to people around me:

I sulk while working.. I’m irritated with the squiggly red line MS office displays when I get a typo.. someone calls me for a break, I snap at them saying they don’t realize how much I’m stuck with this darn work.. I get hungry because my brain is at work copy pasting stuff from the previous copy I had drafted earlier. I get up push my chair, curse my side draw and frown at a colleague who tries to look at me.. and storm out of the ODC.

How my state of mind affects people around me: (View from somewhere above all this)

imagine that you and I are looking down at this entire scene from 2 floors above.. (we can look thru walls since its our imagination) I frown and snap at the colleague who called me for a break.. she feels odd.. since its not very normal for me to behave that way.. she gives me back a harder frown and leaves (she may have also been through a rough day)

my negative feeling affected her even more.. it made her feel worse.. now the fact that my snapping at her affected her is like a stone thrown into a pond of still water.. it makes many ripples.. some of them come back to me making me feel worse..

on the contrary, if I had obliged cheerfully, she would have felt good and her happiness would have flowed back to me when we shared a few minutes over coffee.. but certainly I would have felt better and who knows.. I could have asked her to spend time near my PC, so that I can chat while doing my work, which will not seem so burdensome.

Thoughts:

State of depression is nothing but a bunch of negative thoughts which we cling on to because we want to justify to our self that there is a reason that we are feeling sad.. and we hold on to it for so long and so much that it affects us so badly that we forget that we can actually let go of it and feel better.

there was a mail forward that I came across.. a man who addressed the public.. he told a joke, people laughed.. he kept on repeating it so many times that after a while no one wanted to laugh and some started giving him quizzical looks.. He spoke saying, how is it that we are not able to laugh over 1 joke again and again but we are able to hold on to one failure and weep over it for a lifetime??

Our negative thoughts (being sad.. anger.. anything) are like stones thrown into still water..  the more we throw negative stones, more negative ripples are created and it not only disturbs the pond, it also affects the shores of the pond.. our mind is like the pond of still water and the thoughts are like the stones.. if we throw stones of negative thoughts, it affects us and people around us negatively.. if we throw positive stones, positive thoughts and feelings come back to us.. so never let negative thoughts enter the pond.. even if they do, do your best to replace it with some or other form of positive thoughts.





Morning sightings

26 07 2011

Early morning, while we rush to catch the bus to college / office is the time one gets to see all types of sightings on the road.. great fun it is to see all this (not when running to catch your bus.. that is the time for others to laugh at you.. after you have gotten into your bus, you can laugh at others)

top sightings are as follows..

girls with open hair which is half wet..

guys talking on their phones..

colorful flashing tee shirts girls and guys alike..

people running around to catch the bus with laptop bags or lunch bags..

people standing (read cramped into i foot space between hundreds of legs, balancing not to fall off the foot board) in the overcrowded bus

the blessed ones who got a seat, taking a short nap

those jabbering on the phone inside and outside the bus..

the couples standing cuddled up while waiting for the bus..

different varieties of clothes in all sizes and shapes and colors..

bus drivers blasting each other in the traffic..

people who cross the road after signal turns green..

there are many more… but I’ll stop here.. because office is a long drive away and I’m going to join the blessed group to take a nap 🙂





Luxury

18 07 2011

I read this story in a mail forward and it totaly moved me…! I dint find the original copy so i’m penning it on my own since I remember every bit of that short story..

Scene 1: its 9 Pm and Ramu is at his residence cutting beans for the next day’s cooking helping his wife while he’s watching TV and listening to his wife (Viji) who was telling him what happened during the day.. his 2 year old daughter (Meena) had just slept after playing with daddy and his 8 year old son (Guna) was doing his home work.

Ramu works at an MNC not as someone who does coding.. but as the person who cleans the tables. yes he’s part of the house keeping section of the MNC. Viji is a home maker and she does odd jobs in two to three houses there by adding money for rotation in apart from the meager 4500 rupees that Ramu earns.

Despite the fact that Ramu and Viji literally fight 30 days a month for 1 square meal, they make sure their kids get what they need even if they dont get what they want.

Scene 2: Guna is done with his homework and comes running to his dad and hugs him and asks him what happened in office today. Guna after a while says,

G: “Appa, i want a cake”

R: “seri vangi tharen” (ok i’ll buy for you)

G: “Appa, not one piece.. yenakku oru round cake venum pa”

R: expressionless (a full cake… its something he cant even dream of affording)

G: appa i had been to sekar’s house appa.. avan oda birthday-a so enna kooptu irundhan pa.. avan oru round pink cake vechi cut pannan pa.. yenakkum adutha masam happy birthday varudhu le? please appa… yenakkum venum pa…

R: Baffled.. but since he dint want to disappoint his son then and there.. he said “pakalam da kanna.. ippo poi thungiko.. odu”

G: happily went to bed

Ramu talks with Viji until the day’s work is over in the kitchen and they both retire for the day

Scene 3: Next day in office:

its lunch break and its almost drawing to a close around 2 45.. the tables are almost empty and and hence, ramu sits in a corner and ponders over the cake guna had asked for..

Suddenly there are loud noises in the cafe.. one group is celebrating someone’s birthday.. the noise continues to the “happy birthday song” people chase one another.. they all eat some cake and then leave..

dutifully Ramu goes to the spot to clean the mess the group had created by throwing on each other and playing with THAT CAKE which RAMU could not even DREAM OF AFFORDING for HIS SON GUNA.





10 people whom you don’t want to eat with

11 07 2011

1. those who fill their stomachs by seeing how much we eat. (stop staring.. stomach ache coming )

2. those who take a platter full.. and waste as much (why waste..? there are others who are willing to eat)

3. people who complain with every spoonful that they knew that the food will be so bad (why take it when you knew the food is bad?)

4. them who keep bragging about how good the food was in their previous company (why did you come here then?)

5. people who keep saying i’m full and keep eating (from your plate as well) (hello.. i know how to eat.. you don’t have to demonstrate)

6. a group that ignores your presence and talks stuff that is not related to you and / or talks in a language that you dont understand (Excuse me..? i exist)

7. a person who sits next to you with a disconnected output line (keeps mum and stares at everything around) (why did i sit with this XXXXX…? smacking my head)

8. them who always think food in your plate is better than theirs (we got it from the same caterer damn it..!)

9. those who keep telling.. wow how are you able to eat so much (how will we be able to continue?)

10. and finally those who tell us how bad the food is (what we are eating) and exclaim by saying.. By God…! how are you able to consume that amount of horse **** (for the last time.. i’m hungry and i want to eat)








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